Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the condom got lost in my hair
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
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