How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
