They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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