i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
