No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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