There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you didnt know i had herpes?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize