I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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