I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
