y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
