we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I party with great urgency now.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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