i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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