I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
