I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
