I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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