Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
