Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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