Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
