she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
