I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
