She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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