I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
