Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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