Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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