At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
