Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
