just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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