yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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