i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
