Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
