They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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