i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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