Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Naked. naked and bneed help.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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