She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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