Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
