I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
