i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I look better un-naked...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
