Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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