Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
