It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
