Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
