Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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