What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize