after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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