I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
