I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize