I think I am morally bankrupt
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
