was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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