she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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