just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
