So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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