Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
