dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
