"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
