his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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