Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
