Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize