i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
two words...techno handjob
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
