My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
