We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I have fence marks all over my body
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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