I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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