So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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