doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
