God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
