dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
