Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
