i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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