The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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