i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
