Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
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