and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
