you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
