I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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