She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize