she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
