if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
