I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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