you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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