I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
