I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
