I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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