I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
