Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
