He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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