You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
