..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
