i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
